Havoc's Love
by Madame Awesome Pants
Summary: Finally Havoc gets some! sorry... A story for good times! Havocxsecret, Royxsecret, Edxsecret.... Tee hee hee. Takes place after the series, but doesn't follow the movie storyline until later.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This was for my friend's birthday, Lucky-da-whatever. It was originally eight pages, but it spawned into something else, now in the 70 page mark. I'll post it in turns. It's supposed to take place at the end of the series, the anime, but It doesn't really follow the movie until later on, and even then it doesn't match. Oh well, huh? XD

Disclaimer: I dun't own the characters of FMA…. Except the ones I made up. X3

WARNING! This fiction (all of it!) includes many examples of the following words:

Kiss, hug, blushed, engaged, make out, first base, second base, third base, home, 'bumping the buoy', hit, kick, stab, cry, estrogen (maybe not), marriage, meeting parents, cutting THEM off, adultery, dumped, drunk, French, some profanity in extreme situations, love, hate, tears, Fuhrer, and Miniskirts.

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It was a typical day in Central, and everyone was doing their typical things.

Roy walked into the room where Fuery, Havoc, Falman and Breda were with Riza in tow. Roy was smiling widely and Riza was blushing.

"Hi everyone!" Roy called brightly to his subordinates. They waved in return, Havoc looking a bit more sad than usual.

Roy smiled wider, somehow looking smug in all his glee. "We have an announcement to make." By 'we' he meant Riza and him. Hawkeye blushed even more furiously.

"… We're engaged!" Roy beamed and showed them the ring on Hawkeye's finger. It was a thick platinum band, encrusted with six big diamonds and a huge ruby. The diamonds were in rows, with three on each side of the big ruby in the center. It sparkled in the light and it was obviously EX-PEN-SIVE.

Breda, Fuery and Falman clapped politely and said words of congratulations while Havoc's eyes widened and his cigarette dropped out of his mouth. It was promptly stomped out by Fuery.

"But… But…" Havoc stammered. Hawkeye looked a bit embarrassed by Havoc's reaction, but she still looked ecstatic.

"I know you wanted to start dating, Havoc," Hawkeye said as Roy started to hug and snuggle, "But I've always loved Roy. He's just so… Snuggly."

She gave in to Roy's snuggling techniques. Breda looked a bit disgusted. "Find a room, why don't you?"

Roy laughed. "Sorry, we're both a bit… Eager." He fiddled with a lock of Hawkeye's hair as he sat down in a chair and she sat on his lap. "The wedding's after I become Fuhrer, and you're all invited."

Havoc continued to stare in disbelief, Riza just about to kiss Roy. That was when the whole scene started to fade.

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He awoke a moment later in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He took a deep breath and looked at his clock. 6:00 A.M. Just enough time to get ready for the ceremony.

He sat up and stretched, shivering from his lack of shirt and the horror and realism of his dream.

He had almost thought the dream was actually happening. It seemed so real! Roy was just like that, always stealing poor Havoc's woman. It was a miracle they were still friends.

Havoc stood and walked to his kitchen. He yawned and scratched his stomach, poking at his nearly non-existent abs. If he was ever going to pass Roy, he needed to workout.

He took out some Instant Ramen, deciding on the beef kind. He set it on the counter and walked to the bathroom.

It was a tidy bathroom. Contrary to popular belief, Havoc was actually a very neat guy. He took out a large blue towel and turned on the shower. He turned the knob so it would become really hot.

He stripped his remaining clothing and stepped into the shower. He thought about the day ahead.

This ceremony would certainly be a turning point for the military. Since parliament took over last week, they had decided to elect a Fuhrer over the military, but this time he had less control. All the Fuhrer could do now was make strategies for current battles, keep everyone in line, and keep down any violence in a set region that the Parliament tells him.

After he washed his hair and scrubbed his body, Havoc got out and dried off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of bathroom.

He went to the kitchen and started boiling the water. Mmm, ramen. Food for the Gods. As he waited for it to get done, he put on part of his uniform: his pants, his light blue shirt (which he tucked in), and his man-skirt. He left a few buttons at the top of his shirt undone.

"Maybe I should give up on Hawkeye…" Havoc muttered. There WERE plenty of fish in the sea. Plenty of really HOT fish, he might add.

Havoc was a bit bitter that he had to attend this ceremony. He normally would be sleeping in on a Saturday, not knowing nor caring if Roy was filling out paperwork at the office or out dating more ladies. But since rumor had it that Roy was to be chosen as Fuhrer, Havoc had to come. He had to see if Roy would hold up on his promise he made two years ago.

Havoc finished his breakfast and put on the rest of his uniform. He checked the clock again. 6:45. That meant that he had a good fifteen minutes to waste before he had to leave.

Havoc quickly put on a bit of cologne, brushed his teeth, then locked his apartment and walked outside. He sat on a bench a little ways away from the entrance to the apartment and lit a cigarette that he pulled out of the inside pocket of his jacket. He lit it expertly and drew a deep breath of the sweet nicotine. He let it out slowly and was about to take another breath when a girl came over and sat next to him.

She looked to be about his age, with shoulder-length bluish silver hair. She was wearing a long black trench coat and had on a pair of jeans with a pair of simple combat boots. Her coat was unbuttoned so he could see her long-sleeved bright green shirt peeking out from underneath it. Her complexion was very light, and she had blue eyes like his. Havoc thought she was drop-dead gorgeous.

"Hi." He said, trying to be suave. She looked over at him, glanced at his cigarette, and sighed. "Cigarettes are bad for your health." She took it from him, threw it to the ground, and swiftly stomped on it.

He looked a bit shocked, but continued anyway. "May I ask the name of this lovely lady?" she glanced at him, and then glanced at her watch.

"It's typically good manners for a man to tell his name before a woman." Oh, she's _feisty_.

Havoc looked at her with his beautiful blue eyes. "I'm Jean Havoc. As you can see, I work for the military."

"Kai. Kai Niwa. I'm an artist from the area, but I can do a good bit of alchemy." Havoc looked positively gleeful. Beauty AND brains? AND alchemy? And she was only his! It was too good to be true. There had to be a catch.

"Oh, really? That's great. I'm a big fan of the arts." Liar liar, pants on fire.

Kai looked a bit happier. "That's great! Where are you heading after this?" "The military ceremony for the new Fuhrer." She looked even happier. "Really? So am I! Maybe we'll see each other!"

Havoc certainly hoped so. He checked his watch. 7:10. Shoot! He was late!

"I'm sorry, I have to go! I'll be late! I have to be there early to help out my friend, Roy-" Oh _shoot_, he'd done it now.

Her eyes sparkled. "Roy MUSTANG? THE Roy MUSTANG?" Havoc nodded sadly. He knew there was a catch. "Oh, you have to introduce me! I'm a really big fan!" Havoc shrugged, knowing that he should do what was most polite.

"Sure. I guess I can." She squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, yes! Yes! Thank you! Here, I'll meet you at this spot after the ceremony! Please bring Roy!" Havoc blushed from the forwardness of the kiss and he nodded, still in a bit of ecstasy. He stood up and waved to her, walking to his car. She was heaven. But there was no chance for him.

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When Havoc arrived at the ceremony he was immediately led from his car to where Roy was waiting. Roy looked a bit anxious, but not nervous like some people would be. He glanced at Havoc and smiled.

"There you are. I knew you wouldn't skip out." Havoc sat next to his friend, sighing.

"Why would I? It's a turning point in history, a once-in-a-lifetime event. Besides that, I couldn't let my friend get nervous alone." Roy smiled even brighter. "I do have a favor though." Havoc said.

"Whatever it is, I'll be happy to do it. As long as it doesn't involve dressing up like a woman or anything like that. That would be too weird." Havoc laughed.

"No, no. All I need you to do is meet this girl after the ceremony. She's a big fan of yours, and she wants to meet you outside my apartment building later."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "A girl you say?... I'm in. Oh! Look! They're starting!" everyone got quiet as the lead member of parliament got on the stage.

"Welcome! Welcome! This is the ceremony to select the new Fuhrer! As you well know, the last military government didn't work out well, so now we're trying a new approach. We hope that this will make life better for everyone." He paused for a moment, as if to rest his old and raspy voice. "Now, for the moment that you all have waited for: The Announcement. Now, may someone please bring me the envelope?"

A young lady from the audience, who Havoc recognized as Kai, brought an envelope to the man. "She's a nice one, isn't she?" Roy said to Havoc. Havoc smiled and nodded, though it felt like his insides were just ripped out and wrapped around a tree a few times. Now he had NO chance.

The man on the podium waited a moment to let the pressure continue to rise, and then he opened it. Funnily enough, Havoc thought it seemed like an awards show.

"And the new Fuhrer is… Roy Mustang!" There were some boos from the crowd, but they were quickly overpowered by cheers. Roy walked up on stage to receive his new jacket embroidered with all of the Fuhrer pins, stars, and ribbons.

"Hello," he began in his deep, rich voice, "And thank you all for coming. I'm very surprised and excited that I was chosen to be Fuhrer, but I am happy all the same. I have aspired to be Fuhrer for years, and now that dream has been fulfilled. I would like to thank everyone who helped me along the way." Havoc knew what was coming. A long list of girls, girls, and more girls.

"First, I would like to thank the late Maes Hughes, because without his support I would not be here right now. Thanks buddy and I miss you." There was polite clapping from the audience in remembrance of the kind man. "Next, I would like to thank all of my subordinates, because without them I would definitely NOT be here right now. Vato Falman, Heymans Breda, Jean Havoc, Cain Fuery, Riza Hawkeye, and the late Edward Elric… Thank you guys." They all beamed from their place in the audience, and people clapped lightly for them as well. "I would have to say that even though there are many more people I could thank, those are the only ones I'm going to. Once again, I thank you all." He waved and walked off stage to people clapping and cheering. He sat back down next to Havoc, who patted him on the back.

"You were great." Havoc said encouragingly as the Parliament called out new rankings.

Roy smiled, relieved. "Thanks. I was nervous."

Havoc smiled slightly. "You didn't mention anything about the mini-skirts." Roy looked surprised and bummed.

"You're right! I was going to, too! That sucks…" Havoc laughed at Roy's reaction.

"You'll have a chance eventually. Just be grateful that you've achieved your goal."

Roy nodded, continuing to smile widely at his achievement. He had finally done it! He had become Fuhrer! And if he could say one thing about it, he would say that it felt good.

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After the ceremony was over and people were finished congratulating Roy (a great many girls showed up to do that), they decided to leave.

"So, who is this girl?" Roy asked after they had gotten in the car, Havoc driving and Roy in shotgun. "Is she hot?"

Havoc rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah. But she's also smart, and she's an artist, and she can do alchemy! She's great." Roy looked over at Havoc, who seemed to be daydreaming as he drove. Havoc must have fallen head over heels for this girl. Roy just hoped Havoc wouldn't blame him if he swept her off her feet.

"Well, we're here." Havoc said a moment later, pulling up to the curb. "She said to meet at the same bench I met her at earlier, the one over there next to the entrance to my apartment building." They both got out of the car and shivered in the wintry air. It was pretty cold outside.

Roy sat on the bench and Havoc stood, thinking. This sucked! If he didn't bring the girl of his dreams Roy, who was obviously the man of her dreams, then she would hate him! And if he did bring him, like he was now, she would fall head over heels for Roy and then that would be the end of his nonexistent perfect relationship. At least they might be able to be friends. Though that wasn't what Havoc particularly wanted.

They waited a few minutes, Roy complaining of the cold more than once, before she arrived. She got out of her car and looked flustered. "I'm sorry! They kept me late!..." she stopped when she saw Roy. Then she blushed furiously. Roy smiled his smug smile at her and stood up, walking over.

"May I ask your name?" Roy said, in the voice that might remind you of a cobra going in for the prey.

She blushed even more furiously. "K-Kai N-Niwa." Roy smiled even wider. He LOVED the innocent ones. Especially if the innocent ones had a nice rack.

"Fuhrer Roy Mustang is mine. But I'm sure you knew that." She gulped and nodded. Roy took her hand and led her to the bench, Havoc watching in sick disgust from his place on the wall. He took out a cigarette and lit it.

"I TOLD you before, Havoc, that cigarettes are bad for your health." She took the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the ground. She swiftly stomped on it again. Both Havoc and Roy were stunned, and the cigarette that Havoc had used to replace the other instinctively fell out of his mouth. Kai stomped on that one as well.

Roy had an expression on his face that reminded one of someone who has just been dissed. Havoc just looked dazed.

Kai looked from Roy to Havoc, wondering what she would do. Yes, the new Fuhrer had just been FLIRTING with her, but Havoc was just so nice. She knew Roy was a self-proclaimed lady's man and that if she wanted someone who would support her that she couldn't count on him. And Havoc was just… Havoc. There was no other way to explain it.

As she sat there in despair of decisions, Roy went over to the side. He did something that the other two couldn't see, and then came back with something in his hand, walked over to Kai, pulling something from his pocket on the way. Havoc's face went pale. He KNEW this technique. It had probably been passed down the Mustang line for generations.

Roy produced two tickets to the opening of the new art museum from his pocket. Havoc slapped his forehead. He shouldn't have said anything about her line of work. "I have these tickets…" Kai's eyes lit up.

"Oh my god! I tried to get some tickets to the opening, but they were all sold out! Are you really offering to take me?..." Havoc sighed, his hopes of maybe actually getting the girl gone. He went over and sat on the bench.

Roy nodded, smiling. He knew this would work. It always did. He gave her the other item in his hand. Kai squealed.

It was a magnificent statuette of her, made out of what seemed to be black onyx. Roy had obviously transmuted it out of the trace amounts found in the sidewalk.

She took the statuette, examining its surface. It was completely flawless! Not to mention the onyx sparkled and shined. She looked up to Roy, who was smiling like the cobra that had just got its prey.

"Thank you!" she said, smiling brightly. Havoc was watching all of this with tears coming to his eyes. He thought he had a chance this time, he really did! He wiped his eyes. No. Mustn't cry. It's not manly.

Kai looked over at Havoc and saw his reaction. Her eyes softened and she almost cried herself. He looked like his heart had just been broken.

"No." Kai said quietly. "I can't do this. It wouldn't be right." She gave the gifts back to the stunned Roy. She walked over to Havoc and sat next to him. She turned his face to face hers. "I already have someone."

And with that, they kissed.

Roy was shocked, but he smiled. So, Havoc had finally won a girl over. Maybe the great Roy was losing his touch. Roy walked over to the blushing Havoc and placed the gifts on his lap.

"Go get 'em, tiger." Roy said in Havoc's ear before walking off down the street, whistling the tune to Ninja of the Night. It wasn't that far back to his house, anyway.

Kai broke off the kiss and stared at the shocked and blushing Havoc. She laughed. This seemed to snap Havoc out of his daze. He looked down at the gifts on his lap, trying not to cry out in glee. Roy was awesome! Thank you, Roy!

Havoc gave her one of the tickets to the opening. "Here, I figure you might want to go with me… If you don't that's fine…" Kai laughed and took the ticket, giving Havoc a peck on the cheek. He blushed even more furiously.

Two blue-haired old ladies sitting on the bench across the street watched. This was entertainment! Mostly they just watched the cars drive by as they knitted.

"Isn't young love beautiful?" one said to the other. The other laughed and nodded.

"Yes. But doesn't it just make you a bit sick?" they both shared in a laugh as Havoc gave Kai the statuette. She took it gratefully.

"Thank you, Havoc." She said, holding the figure carefully. She paused for a moment, then looked up at him.

"Wanna go up to your apartment and make out?"

Havoc blushed the darkest shade of red but nodded with a smile and they both walked up the stairs, the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

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Believe it or not, it goes on. XD

Yay.

Hope you like it… And keep reading…

Sorry about the inaccuracy!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I'm back again! It's nice to be back, yes!

Anyway, more action…. This chapter may _seem _stupid…. But it really does set off a chain of events. Anyway…. Hope you like this new installation of Havoc's Love!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Hagaren….. It would be fun…. Somewhat bad things would happen to the plot…. O.o

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A FEW WEEKS LATER…

"This is a wonderful restaurant, isn't it?" a beautiful woman in a very expensive dress looked around. Her husband, clad in a tux, nodded in agreement.

"Yes, it's great, I'm so glad we--" he was cut off from continuing by hysterical laughter from someone a few tables away.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I remember that! When Havoc-kun lost that bet and had to stand on his head when he was drunk on sake! That was GREAT..." Roy and Kai were laughing their heads off and giving each other high-fives. Havoc and Hawkeye looked a bit embarrassed about their dates. They were on a double date: Roy and Riza with Havoc and Kai.

After the two calmed down (though they were still giggling), the waiter came with their orders. Havoc had gotten sushi, as did Kai, since his salary had been upped since Roy became Fuhrer. Roy got the most expensive wine, and a huge steak. Hawkeye just got a simple salad.

They joked around a little more, reminiscing about the past few weeks. Roy suddenly turned serious, though he had a slight smile on his face.

"So, have you two…" he raised his eyebrows. Havoc and Kai looked confused. Hawkeye sighed.

"Have you… bumped the buoy?" Roy said, his eyebrows still raised. Havoc and Kai were still clueless.

"Have you hit home?"

"I-I don't follow you." Kai said. Roy looked a bit sympathetic and Hawkeye sighed again, blushing slightly from embarrassment.

"HAVE YOU HAD SEX?" Roy said, more loudly so the people at the other tables looked a bit disgusted. He looked a bit embarrassed. "I'm the Fuhrer's twin brother… Coy." He was using a higher voice than usual. "I… I stole this steak from him… Because he's much more rich, famous and handsome than I am…. And he gets all the girls….and he's much more mature… So I'm just going to…. Yeah." He sat down and stared at his food a moment.

He looked up a moment later and smiled brightly. "Speaking of mongooses…"

Havoc raised an eyebrow. "You do know what you just did, right?"

Roy looked confused. "What are you talking about? That was my twin brother, Coy."

"Right… And Kai here's going to grow a bigger rack in a matter of five minutes."

Kai hit Havoc. Then she hit him again. And again. And again.

As Havoc sat there with swirlies in front of his eyes, Roy went on. "Yes, as Coy was saying… Have you?..."

Kai and Havoc immediately blushed. "Nonononononononononooooo…"

They said in unison.

Havoc stopped a moment. "We've gotten to third, though."

Kai hit Havoc again. And again. And again.

As Havoc sat with his face blank a moment longer, Hawkeye apologized to Kai.

"Sorry about Roy. He's very immature sometimes…" she bent closer to Kai, her voice lower. "I think it's the wine." Kai looked at Roy, who seemed to be getting a bit tipsy.

"Maybe you should take that away from him…" Hawkeye nodded, but up close it was worse. You could tell he was hammered.

Hawkeye tried to take the bottle from him, but he grabbed it and held on, shaking his head like a little kid. "No." he even SOUNDED like a little kid.

"Come on, Roy. You're getting drunk."

He shook his head again. "No."

"Give it to me."

"No!"

"GIVE IT!"

"NO!"

"GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" this conversation was starting to sound a bit dirty.

Kai turned to Havoc and smiled half-heartedly, aware of all the stares they were receiving. "Maybe we should go over to your apartment, Havoc."

Havoc nodded. "Good idea. Check!"

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They walked to Havoc's house a little while later, Roy stumbling and STILL holding the bottle of wine. It was nearly empty by now.

"You know, Hawkeye," he said, slurring his words, "You look REALLY good with your hair down." He pulled her hair out of its neat bun.

"Eep!" she said quietly, pulling it back up in a matter of seconds with a spare hair tie. Havoc and Kai were trying their best not to laugh.

Roy stumbled and fell. When he hit the ground, he started crying. It was quite cute, actually.

"WAHHHH! Hawkeye, can I have a ban-aid?" Yes, he DID say ban-aid like a little kid. Hawkeye blushed and shook her head.

"You're acting like a baby Roy. You're Fuhrer, get up. This will ruin your rep."

Roy pouted, still sitting on the ground. "But LAST time I got hurt at your house you gave me a ban-aid that said 'I love you' and kissed the boo-boo!..."

Hawkeye blushed about the deepest red imaginable. "I… I…" she stammered, looking at the purple faces of Havoc and Kai, who were trying their hardest to NOT LAUGH.

Hawkeye pulled Roy up, who wiped the tears from his eyes. She sighed. He was just too damn cute. She put a band aid that said 'A VERY important friend' on the scrape on his knee. He rolled his pant leg back down.

"Fine. When we get to Uncle Havoc's house you can play with the airplanes." Roy cheered and Kai almost succumbed to his cute-ness by going and offering to play with him.

"Airplanes?..." Havoc said, snorting from the effort of not busting up laughing. Hawkeye gave him a look of pure hate.

She pointed to her purse. "Roy nearly ALWAYS gets drunk when we go out, and when he does, he acts like a little kid. I know from experience that airplanes make the hurt GO AWAY."

Havoc looked a bit scared, but nodded.

A few minutes later they arrived at Havoc's new apartment that he had gotten just a few days ago after he got a raise.

Havoc opened the door and started to climb up the stairs, but Roy stopped him by crying out. "Uncle Havoc…." He said, tugging on Havoc's sleeve of his tux.

Havoc sighed. "What is it?"

"I… can't climb stairs. Will you give me a piggy back ride?" Havoc nearly fell over.

"Oh dear god…" he said. Hawkeye and Kai were, at this point, laughing on the ground.

"Pleeeeaaaaassssssseeeee Haaaaavvvvooooocccccc?" he said slowly and painfully cutely.

Havoc sighed heavily. "Fine. But don't think I'll do this more than once." Havoc gave Roy his back. Havoc thought Roy would just hop on.

GLOMP!

"Ack!" Havoc groaned at Roy's weight. Probably his damn muscles.

They began pounding up the stairs, normal speed at first, but by the final flight Havoc was nearly crawling. Roy pulled a riding crop out of nowhere.

"Come on, Uncle Havoc! Zieg Hiel! Faster!" Roy smacked Havoc a few times. Havoc could see stars.

Finally they were at the top of the stairs, Havoc's face as blank as it was after Armstrong's sister rejected him.

Roy jumped up and down, squealing. "Do it again! Do it again!" Havoc turned to Roy, veins popping out of his forehead.

"How about… HELL NO?" Roy whimpered and turned to Kai.

"Aunt Kaaaaaiiiii… Uncle Havoc's being meeeaaaannnn…"

Kai glared at Havoc. "Why are you swearing at him? He has a young, impressionable mind!"

Havoc started waving his arms. "HE'S OLDER THAN ME!"

Hawkeye sighed. "Roy, go inside. I have airplanes!" Roy squealed and ran inside. "Roy should be going to the second stage of his drunken-ness anytime now."

Havoc looked a bit scared. "And what is that?"

Hawkeye shivered. "You don't want to know." Havoc paled as they walked inside.

Roy was sitting on the ground, waiting patiently for Hawkeye. He looked so utterly kawaii that it seemed impossible anyone could be mad at him.

Hawkeye gave Roy the airplanes and Havoc walked to the kitchen, pouring himself a bit of vodka. Kai went and got herself a glass of wine.

"We both take alcohol well." Havoc said to Hawkeye.

"Bwoooooosh!" Roy said, smashing the planes together. "The great Fuhrer strikes again!" He crawled towards Havoc's room.

"Well, this has been a… interesting night." Kai said, watching Roy crawl all the way into the room.

He came out a moment later, planes gone. Now he had a pair of socks, one on each hand. He crawled over and sat in front of the three others, who were sitting on the loveseat and chair.

"Hey Havoc!" he said, using one and making it look like it was talking. "Have you met my other twin, Boy?" He pulled his hand from behind his back. It was clad in another sock. At this point everyone was laughing.

"Hello." He said, in a very deep voice. "I'm Boy! It's nice to meet you, Havoc."

Roy talked with the sock puppets for a few minutes, just saying random phrases. The three others watched with vague interest.

Just as suddenly as he had begun, Roy ripped off the socks, revealing his ignition cloth glove. "BOOM BOOM!" he said happily. Hawkeye's eye's widened.

She took his glove from him and sprayed it with water from a nearby plant spritzer. Then she sprayed Roy.

"No. No. Bad Roy, bad." Roy squealed and shielded himself from the water.

"It buuuurrrnnnnnssss…." He wailed, curling in the fetal position. He rolled out of the position a few minutes later and sat up, dazed.

All of a sudden Roy seemed to snap back to the present. His voice was normal and the innocent look in his non-eyepatch'd eye disappeared. He looked around at his three friends, and then he passed out, right on the ground.

"Thank god he didn't go to Stage two…" Hawkeye said gratefully. Havoc looked at her warily.

"Tell me… What was stage two?" Hawkeye paused a moment, then told them.

"He would strip and sing songs. Songs that might not be safe for young ears."

Havoc and Kai paled. "Thank god THAT didn't happen…" Kai said gratefully.

"Should we pull out the sleeper sofa?" Kai asked.

Havoc nodded. "Sure. He's going to be experiencing some baaaaad hang over business tomorrow."

They pulled out the sofa and moved Roy on to it. He was drooling.

"Do you want a pair of my pajamas, Hawkeye?" Kai asked.

Hawkeye nodded gratefully. "Yes, thank you."

After Hawkeye was dressed and in bed with Roy, Kai shut the door and jumped in bed with Havoc. They snuggled, Kai in her pajamas and Havoc in boxers.

"What a night, eh?" Kai said, the small amount of alcohol causing her to become tired.

Havoc sighed. "Yeah. THAT gave me a lot of blackmail."

Kai smiled. "Well, sweet dreams, my Havoc."

"And sweet dreams to you, Miss Kai."

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Oh yes! Hope you liked it!

I understand that there may be many errors….. But I have gotten better since I wrote this! Constructive criticism…. But I'd rather not have it on this chapter…. U.U

I'll update in a few days!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry I haven't updated! I've been so busy in school…. Stupid Geography!

Anyway, this chapter moves fast, and I'm REALLY sorry if you don't like it…. Please, review and tell me what needs to be fixed!

Note: Remember that this takes place QUITE soon after the end of the series. There are spoilers, though not major. Thank you. I love my reviewers to bits. :3

Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, Chuck Norris would cry. And maybe Pluto would still be a planet. Poor Pluto, being demoted… I STILL LOVE YOU!

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They awoke the next morning and got up around 1. Must have been the alcohol keeping them in bed. Havoc put on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and Kai stayed in her P.J.'s.

They walked out into the living room. Riza was already awake. She rubbed her eyes.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"One." Kai replied.

Hawkeye winced. "Ouch, that's late. I realize this may be a stupid question since this an apartment, but where is your shower?" Hawkeye asked. Havoc pointed around the corner with a yawn.

"There should be some of my shampoo and soap in there." Kai told her. Hawkeye nodded in thanks and walked to the bathroom.

Havoc and Kai were left alone with the sleeping Roy. Kai gave Havoc a small kiss and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Havoc blushed as he always did when Kai did something random like that, and he followed. She was pulling out some rice and some eggs. "I'm planning on trying to make something new, I'm going to scramble the eggs and fry the rice, then mix them together! It's ingenious!"

Havoc smiled half-heartedly. "Right. Good luck with that." Havoc said it so sarcastically that Kai kicked him. "Ouch! You know that hurts, right?"

Kai smiled evilly. "Of course! It wouldn't be fun if it didn't! But maybe I don't know my own strength…" They went through this routine almost every day with something different when Kai slept over, and Havoc was getting a bruise on his shin.

They heard a groan from the other room. "Looks like Roy's up." Havoc said with a laugh. "I'll go give him some medicine. I kind of feel sorry for him, maybe I shouldn't tell him I have blackmail until it's necessary."

Kai turned to him and smiled. "Whatever you want to do, Havoc-kun. Just go help the poor guy." Havoc nodded and walked into the living room.

Roy was continuing to groan. "Why me?…" he muttered.

"I see you're up." Havoc said, giving the aching man two pills and a glass of water. Roy quickly downed the pills and laid down on his back.

"That was an interesting experience, seeing you drunk. Lucky you that Hawkeye came to the rescue when you got a boo-boo." Havoc laughed as he pulled up Roy's pant leg to show him the Band-Aid. Roy paled.

"You must tell no one. If someone in Parliament is told, then I will no longer be Fuhrer." Roy looked serious, but Havoc laughed.

"No worries. I'm not evil enough to do that." Roy seemed a bit happier but he blushed from embarrassment.

"I am…" He muttered under his breath. "I like blackmail."

He put a hand on his forehead. "I think that this may be the worst day in my whole life. Besides that, I'm feeling worse than usual. This may be something serious."

Havoc's brow furrowed. "I'll call a doctor. Want some breakfast?"

Roy turned to Havoc and nodded. "Sure. And thanks for promising not to tell anyone."

"No problem."

Havoc walked back into the kitchen and told Kai what was happening. She paled slightly when she heard that Roy might have something serious.

"Oh no! We should call someone!" she thought about who would come to call on a Sunday. "I know exactly who! And she's a big fan of the Fuhrer! I'll call her." Kai hadn't talked to her in a few weeks.

Kai laughed a moment as she thought about her friend's reaction when she found out that Kai rejected Roy Mustang. Kai just hoped she wouldn't spontaneously combust when she heard that Roy was taken now.

Hawkeye exited the bathroom fully clothed in a pair of Kai's clothes and her still-damp hair was tied back. She went to the living room and saw that Roy was awake. "Good morning, Merry Sun-shine." He said to her when he saw her enter.

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you? You should have a hang over. Besides that, you're not looking very well." Roy nodded.

"Yeah. I think it's the injury." By that he obviously meant the one he had sustained only two months earlier when the old Fuhrer attacked him. He touched the place where his bandages were and winced. It was still painful. Hawkeye looked worried. She put her hand to his forehead and felt a fever. "Havoc's calling someone." Roy mentioned to Hawkeye to keep her from worrying even more.

Havoc walked into the room a few minutes later. "She's been called. Kai's taking care of it as we speak." Hawkeye looked like she was about to cry and Havoc didn't understand why. Probably worry.

As a matter of fact, Kai really didn't have to take care of anything. Kai dialed the number to her friend's home. It rang a few times, then she picked up.

"Atwater residence. Are you calling for business or something personal?"

"Hi," Kai said, " It's Kai. Long time, no speak. How've you been?"

Her friend sighed. "I've been taking care of patients that were in the recent rebellion. Even though more business means more money, it's been running my assistant and me ragged."

"Oh, you mean Karrie? I haven't talked to her in a while, how is she?"

"She's fine, but from the sound of your voice, it seems you didn't call to make small talk. Are you OK?"

Kai paused a moment. "I'm fine, but my friend isn't so lucky. Could you come down to Havoc's apartment and see him? He was recently in an… accident… and the injuries he sustained are coming back." Kai decided to let her find out whom exactly it was when she came down.

The friend sighed. "Sure, Karrie and I will be down in a minute. I'm really getting tired of this doctor business, you know?"

Kai let out a gasp. "But you're the best one in Central! Who would we go to otherwise?" She sighed, but smiled all the same. Kai knew how to get to her.

"Maybe I'll stay in the biz a bit longer. Just to help your friend."

Kai smiled. "Thanks. You're the best. He lives in the Pinehedge Terrace apartment complex. Number 189."

"Pinehedge… That's that fancy one down by the military H.Q., right?"

"Yeah. Thanks again, I'll pay you with lunch."

"Whatever. I'll be there in a mo. See ya."

"Bye, Makki."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THA-" Kai hung up the phone on her. She giggled. "I love being diabolical." She muttered.

She finished cooking the breakfast and she put it on the table. She had the rice and eggs mixture, some toast, and orange juice. She put some on a tray for Roy.

"Come get it." She said to them as she brought Roy his food. Havoc saw the look that Roy gave him and he stopped Kai.

"Hey, could you bring me mine on a tray? I need to talk with Roy privately." Kai nodded and went to get it, but she still grumbled.

"Grumble grumble… I'm not a frickin' maid… Grumble…"

After she brought Havoc his tray and the two girls went into the other room, Roy started to talk.

"You love her, don't you?" Roy said with a small smile.

Havoc blushed slightly, but he answered truthfully. "I may not have known her long, but I know I do. I would die for her."

Roy was startled by Havoc's forwardness, but he took a sip of his orange juice (which caused the wound on his chest to hurt immensely), and went on. "That's great. I could tell from the moment you both kissed that you were meant to be together. But that means nothing if you aren't ready for commitment."

Havoc looked serious. "I am ready for commitment. I just want to wait one last week."

Roy nodded. "It's a good idea to wait and make sure she's ready too. But that's not entirely why I said that." Roy lowered his voice. "You see, I don't know if I'm ready for commitment."

Havoc looked startled. The great Fuhrer Mustang? Not ready for something? And he was admitting it? "You're yanking my chain. You've known Hawkeye longer than I've known Kai."

"That means nothing." Roy said seriously. "I may have known her longer, but that doesn't mean I'm ready." Roy paused a moment, looking embarrassed. He blushed slightly. "I… just don't think I love her. She's beautiful, and kind, and without her I would be dead. But I don't think I can love her. Don't ask why."

Havoc's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "Roy, are you serious?"

Roy nodded. "Yes. I wouldn't have said so a week earlier, but I met this doctor when my wounds reopened last week. She's beautiful, Havoc. I think I love her."

Havoc was pale by now. There was no way. Hawkeye had told him before that she loved Roy with all her heart. Now Roy was saying that he didn't share those feelings? Maybe that was why Hawkeye looked like she was about to cry earlier… Had Roy said something? Havoc wouldn't guilt him in to anything, because that would be cruel. If Roy thought he'd found love, then…

"Do what you want, Roy. It's your life. You can decide what you want to do. Just try not to break Riza's heart." Roy looked a bit sad. This was the hardest thing he'd ever done, including fighting the former Fuhrer. This may be too much for him to handle.

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Kai called from the kitchen. She ran into the living room and turned the corner to get to the door.

"Oh! Hiya, Makku! Karrie!" Kai said brightly, letting the two girls in. Roy gaped.

Makku was dressed simply in her glasses with the black rims, a red tanktop and some black pants. Over that she wore a white doctor's coat that had a nametag on it with the sleeves rolled up, revealing a studded black leather bracelet. On her neck she wore a black collar with a silver buckle. She had her long red bangs in a way that they looked like dreadlocks, and the black hair on the back of her head was cut to a little past her shoulders. Her face looked stern.

Karrie was dressed in a pair of jeans with a black t-shirt, and she had a white coat on as well, though the sleeves were down. Her hair was blonde and down, a bit wavy. Karrie was smiling brightly. Neither had on much make-up, but they looked good all the same.

"T-that's the doctor I was talking about…." Roy whispered to Havoc. His voice trembled and Havoc could hear the awe in it. Havoc had to admit; both the girls looked good. Kai had told him that they were her friends. What did the water contain where Kai lived?

Havoc glanced at Roy and saw that his mouth was agape. "Which one?"

"Red."

"Ohhhh." Havoc understood why Roy might like her, but he wondered if it was just material. Havoc wouldn't put it past him.

Makku continued to look stern a moment, then smiled, still not noticing Roy. "Sorry about the mean look. I have to look like that all day at my office, so it's kind of hard to change if it's there for a while. Anyway, where is he?"

Kai smiled slightly and pointed. Makku followed to where she was pointing and Roy and Makku's eyes met. Both, by this time, were the size of dinner plates.

"Y-you're…"

"Y-you're…"

"ROY MUSTANG!" Makku screeched.

"THE DOCTOR WHO HELPED ME!" Roy yelled. He was careful not to do anything rash. He wanted to be sure of his feelings.

"Huh? That was YOU with the gash wound? I didn't know you were the one I helped!" Makku exclaimed.

"I was in disguise." Roy said, embarrassed. "I didn't want anyone to know that their new Fuhrer was hurt."

Makku ran to Roy's bedside, immediately peeling his white shirt from him. She examined the bandages that seemed to have a little blood bleeding through. "Shit, the wound's opened again…" she muttered.

Roy looked pale, as did everyone else. "I-I didn't do anything to it…" Havoc, Hawkeye and Kai sweat dropped. Karrie followed to Makku's side, carrying some bandages and medicine. Hawkeye walked into the kitchen to clean up.

Makku began to unravel the bandages currently on Roy. "So, your name's Makku Atwater?" Makku looked up at him, blushing.

"Yes." She finished with those bandages and Karrie took them, setting down the new bandages and medicine and running to throw the others away.

Makku examined the wound. It had healed really well, but the 2-inch long deep gash that remained, about two inches to the left of the sternum, was oozing blood. She grimaced and looked up at Roy again, who was smiling weakly. He still had the small scars on his face from the former Fuhrer's slashes. Of course, Makku had no idea that that was the reason for them.

Makku put some medicine on the gash that made Roy wince, and then she bandaged it back up. "Be careful for a while, OK? And I noticed you didn't eat your food. Do you have an appetite at all?"

Roy didn't mention that it was because he was lovesick and indecisive, but he shook his head. "No."

Makku frowned. "Take this medicine every two hours then." She stood up, disrupting the conversation that was going on between Havoc, Kai, and Karrie.

"So, he doesn't think he loves her?" Karrie whispered to Havoc. He nodded.

"Yeah. I hope he makes the right choice-" he noticed that Makku was walking towards them. "I'll tell you more later." He said quickly.

"Kai, Roy will be fine, he just needs to rest for a while. I wouldn't move him, since he needs that gash to heal." Havoc paled and Kai didn't understand why.

"Y-You mean he has to stay here?" Havoc stammered.

Makku nodded. "Yes. He should stay in bed for about three days."

Havoc gulped. He was going to ask Kai to marry him in two! He guessed he could wait… It would just be hard. He loved this girl, and he was ready for marriage. Eager Beaver.

Hawkeye appeared a moment later in the room. She had all of her stuff and it looked like there were tears in her eyes. Havoc paled. Was that HIS fault? Did she hear?…

"I… I have to go." She stammered. "Thanks for letting me stay for a while. Please take good care of Roy." With that, she walked out the door.

Kai looked at Havoc and he returned the look. They both looked worried. Makku looked confused. "Was… Was she crying?"

"No, you must have seen the light in her eyes." Kai said, giving her a look that only she could see. A look that said 'Yes, she was, shut up.' You could see that Roy looked pained, in more ways than one.

"I suppose we should go…" Makku said, glancing at Karrie, obviously worried that she might have been the one to cause Hawkeye's tears. Kai shook her head.

"No, no. Stay here. We could have some dinner later!"

She thought about it a moment, then Makku shrugged. "Whatever. I guess we could stay. I should probably watch Roy, anyway. That wound's pretty nasty." She turned to him, and he immediately tried to look better. "You never told me how you got that wound. Would you?…"

Roy shook his head. "I'm sorry, it was a top-secret military event." Makku shrugged.

"It's OK. Doesn't bother me." She turned to Havoc. "Now, I don't think I've met you before. Is he that wonderful boyfriend you were talking about, Kai?"

Kai blushed. "Yes. He is. Havoc, this is Makku. Makku, Havoc. Havoc, this is Karrie. Karrie, Havoc." They exchanged welcomes and hugs.

"I would've taken someone stronger…" Kai said, glancing at Havoc to look for his reaction. He was pale and his face was BLANK. Kai giggled and slightly smacked him. "I kid, I kid."

"I've heard a lot about you both, too," Havoc said, smiling slightly. "Weren't you the ones who joined in the senior prank of breaking in to the school and posting pictures of---" Kai gave Havoc a swift kick in the shin. "Owowowowwww!"

Kai took a peek at the clock on the wall. "It's about 6:45. I didn't know it was so late!"

"It was about 5 when you called, stupid!" Karrie exclaimed.

"How bout I start making dinner?" Everyone nodded and Makku walked into the kitchen.

"Do you have any crackers?"

Kai walked after her and picked out some from a shelf. "Here."

Makku nodded and smiled. "Thanks."

Karrie looked at Havoc. "Think we should leave Roy and Makku alone a while?"

"Wanna help make dinner?"

"Sure."

They walked into the kitchen and Makku walked out, wondering why the two looked so smug. "Don't get too attached to Karrie, Havoc. I might have to strangle her if you give her any type of evaluating stare."

Havoc smiled. "Of course I wouldn't do that, honey. You're the only one for me." He kissed the top of Kai's head and purposefully looked Karrie up and down. Karrie blushed, and Kai kicked him.

Then she kicked him again. And again. And again.

"Geezocrap! I bet I have internal bleeding because of that!" Kai smiled.

Makku walked over to Roy, shaking her head and carrying some water and crackers. "Take the pills now, Roy, and try to eat something. I don't want you to get any more sick than you already are." Makku gave him the pills and the water. "Eat the crackers afterwards."

Roy swallowed the pills, then munched on a cracker. 'Aww, Roy's so cute!' Makku thought, her eyes softening. 'Too bad he's taken…'

Roy blushed under Makku's gaze. Since when he first met her, he hated the way she could stare, as if penetrating into your very being. He felt like she could read his thoughts.

And if she could, it would be something like this:

"Comparison: Hawkeye to Makku. Beauty? They're both pretty beautiful… Tie! Body? Makku's got a nice figure, and from the look of those abs peeking out she's got some nice ones. But Hawkeye's taller, and she has more muscles. Hawkeye! Personality? Makku seems like she can be stern at times, but she's really fun to be around, like a good drinking buddy. Hawkeye seems serious often, but I know she can be intimate… I'd have to say Makku takes this one." Roy's face showed almost no emotion as he debated and ate his crackers.

"It's a tie so far! One last category: Intelligence. Makku's a certified doctor, so in the field of regular knowledge hands down. Not that Hawkeye's dumb or anything. But what about common sense? Makku may be goofy, but she knows what's going on. She's sharp as a tack. But Riza pays good attention too… Ahh, decisions are a bitch."

Makku watched Roy's eyes and could see that he was ping-ponging some idea in his head. She checked her watch. 7:05. She needed to leave soon. She supposed after Karrie was done with dinner they would.

"I'm sorry Roy, but I have to go. I'll stop off and see you tomorrow, OK?" She gave him a small hug so as not to hurt his chest.

Roy was surprised, but not at all unhappy. He returned the hug, but when Makku pulled away, he couldn't resist. He gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

Makku blushed severely and tried to pull away, but she couldn't resist either. They basically started to make out on the couch-bed. Havoc would be mad that they defiled his couch, but that could wait. He and Kai had probably done it before, anyway.

"Hey, Makku, I just ate, so we should probably—OH MY GOD!" Karrie gasped as she saw the two, who were on the verge on skipping over to second after just about three minutes of first.

Makku quickly jumped out of Roy's clutches, blushing even more furiously than she was before. Roy looked a bit disappointed, but he blushed as well.

"Um, I'm just gunna… Yeah. Get me when you're ready." Karrie zoomed off, obviously going to tell Kai and Havoc.

Makku turned back to Roy. "I… I…"

He stopped her. "Don't say anything. I instigated it."

"But it's my fault!" she stood up and turned around. She felt like she was going to cry. "I liked it… In fact I loved it! And I didn't pull away! This is adultery, you have Riza! I'm doing what my dad did, and that's just wrong…"

Roy looked sad. "It's not adultery. I broke up with Riza earlier today."

"Uh-WHA?" Makku exclaimed. She thought about two things at the same time.

A.THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! 

And…

Poor Hawkeye! I need to comfort her later! (You see, Hawkeye was a frequent patient of Makku, since she had asthma and got bronchitis almost once a month.)

"Are you serious?" Makku asked, already knowing the answer. She sat down next to him again.

Roy nodded. "Yes." He kissed her on the cheek, causing her to blush. "Want to go out sometime?"

Makku rolled her eyes, but smiled. "How could I say no?" she wiped her watering eyes. This was turning out to be like a soap opera! But she wasn't sure if she should do it.

Roy smiled and laid back, yawning. "I need to sleep. All of this dramatic romance is making me tired."

Makku giggled. "Right. I need to leave as well, it'll get dark soon." She gave him a slip of paper with her number on it. "Call me, K?" she winked. Roy blushed and nodded.

Makku retrieved a pale Karrie from the other room. "Bye." She said with another wink before leaving.

"What was THAT about!" Karrie immediately exclaimed. Makku sighed. "You MADE-OUT with him! And he's taken! Are you trying to be like your dad!" Even though Makku was just about glowing with happiness, Karrie's accusations stung. Especially the dad comment.

"Well, first off, when he kissed me I thought he was taken. When someone's kissing you, you don't think about those things. I would think you would know that after your short stint with Edo Elric."

Karrie winced. She had skipped some grades, so she was younger than Makku, who was twenty-one. She could date Ed and it wouldn't be weird. But they had only been together for four months before he sacrificed himself for his brother. "What do you mean, 'I thought'? He IS taken!"

"That's not what he told me." Makku said as they jumped into her car. She started it up. "He told me he broke up with her today."

Karrie groaned. "Oh god, she's going to HATE you."

"It's not my problem if their relationship didn't work out."

Karrie paused a moment, wondering what Makku's problem was. "…Don't be a selfish bitch."

"Not trying."

Karrie sighed. Makku was so stubborn sometimes. "Well, what do we have to do when we get home?"

"Sleep, of course," Makku said, turning into the neighborhood where her house and office was. "And tomorrow I have an important appointment with someone… I think it's to see someone's daughter, one Elysia Hughes."

Karrie paled. She had heard that name before from Ed or maybe Winry. Her father, Maes Hughes, had been killed by the homunculus Envy at least three years ago.

"Well, ask the mother about Roy." Karrie said, her face a bit pale. "She should have something to say."

Makku nodded. "Sure thing…. Think Hawkeye will be all right?"

"I certainly hope so."

----

Like it? Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

This is becoming like a soap opera! "'The Young and the Restless' is finally ending, to be replaced with a new show: 'Havoc's Love'!" (I hope that NEVER happens…)

Disclaimer: I dun own FMA. I do pwn, however, Ali's ass. So there, Ali! WHAT NOW!

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As this was happening, Havoc walked into the living room. Roy was looking happy as a clam and clutching the piece of paper. Havoc gave him a look.

"You're cheating on Hawkeye, you playa bastard." Roy winced and looked a bit guilty.

"I didn't tell you, Havoc… I broke up with her." Havoc looked at Roy with spite in his eyes.

He sighed. "I knew it, Roy. I knew you would just move on to another piece of ass."

Roy was furious. "Don't call her that! You make it sound like I'm a pimp! I'm NOT, and Makku's a wonderful, beautiful, charming woman." Roy narrowed his eyes, knowing that if he got in a fight with Havoc his next few days might not be enjoyable. He went on anyway. "You're _jealous_."

Havoc was outraged. "NO I'M NOT! I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BREAK ANOTHER GIRL'S HEART! JUST LIKE THE FIVE GIRLFRIENDS YOU STOLE FROM ME BEFORE I MET KAI! AND YOU ALMOST HAD HER!" Roy looked confused.

"What! Who! I never stole any of your girlfriends!"

"Take a wild guess why I was always unhappy! Mara, Elizabeth, Lola, Kat, and Grace! YOU STOLE THEM ALL! And then you just moved on, no remorse…"

Roy's eyes were wide and he was pale. "You have to understand, Havoc, they asked ME, I didn't steal them… I didn't even know…"

Havoc cut him off. He needed to tell Roy this. "No, no, no. Fuery told me what you said after the last one broke up with me. 'A REAL man should be able to balance the job and the girl', eh? Well, this is what I say to that!" Havoc flipped Roy the finger and stomped into his room, reminding Roy of some goddamned teenager.

Roy sighed. "Hot damn…" Kai walked in and looked at Roy. She looked sympathetic yet mad.

"I heard it all. How could you say something like that! I forgive you, but if you hurt Makku…" Kai walked over to Roy and pulled out the knife she had hidden behind her back. "I'll cut THEM off. THEN I'll kill you. And I will laugh. I will laugh maniacally."

Roy gulped and nodded. "Yes, ma'am!"

Kai gave him one last look before replacing the knife in the kitchen and walking into the bedroom to comfort Havoc.

Roy lay back down onto the couch and sighed. What was wrong with these people?…

----------------------------------------

"How?… How can he even DO this?…" Havoc muttered. Kai walked into the room and saw him sitting with his head in his hands.

Kai sat next to him, rubbing his back. "Don't bother, Havoc. It's a waste of energy. And what if he's sincere this time?"

Havoc looked up. "Well, if he's not, then I'll have to ---!" He clenched his fists and growled.

Kai shook her head. "Don't bother threatening him, I already took care of it."

Havoc looked surprised, then thought about it a moment. It all checked out. He smiled and kissed her. "Thanks, honey."

"Dun't mention it. She's my good friend, anyway."

Havoc made a surprised face. "Really? And who's your BEST friend?"

Kai smiled. "Well, you, of course."

Havoc smiled back. "I better be. I would hate to hear that you cheated on me."

"Never. Nevernevernever. That's stupid. Besides, you haven't even met my parents yet." Havoc gulped. The dreaded meeting of the parents.

You see, Havoc never had luck when he meets his girlfriend's parents. His past experiences included:

A) Screaming, yelling, profanity, name-calling.

B) Them saying, in front of him, that she should be dating someone more high on the military food chain, like Roy.

C) Break ups because of clumsiness, parents disliking him, or just not enough money.

D) Problems with his chain smoking.

E) (insert violence here)

He was particularly worried about this one, because if he didn't work out with Kai's family and she broke up with him, then he didn't know what he'd do.

Kai saw the look on his face and laughed. "You don't have to worry! My parents are great; they'll LOVE you! We should go tomorrow!"

"How many times have I heard THAT before?…" he muttered. Kai hugged him and got up.

"I'm going to get something to drink and check the time, you want something?"

He paused a moment, then laid back on the bed. "Vodka. I need some vodka."

Kai looked at him and laughed, walking out the door. Maybe she should try some vodka.

-------------------------------------------

Kai awoke the next morning. Her hair was messier than normal and she had her arms wrapped around Havoc. She was only in her undergarments, and she didn't know what happened last night.

Her eyes widened. Did they really?..

She sat up quickly and checked the clock, learning that it was nine A.M. She saw a glass on the nightstand next to her. She picked it up and sniffed it. Vodka.

"Oh, _shit_…" she muttered, getting up and putting on a pair of blue pants and a black tee. It took her a moment to realize that they were both Havoc's. Shitshitdoubleshit. She went over to Havoc. "Wake up, Havoc!" she said frantically. "Wake _up_!" She felt an ebbing headache. Probably a hangover.

Havoc groggily opened his eyes and yawned. He sat up, blinking. "What's the problem?…"

Kai's eyes were wide. "Did we?…"

Havoc was silent a moment. "Not to say that I didn't want to," he said after a second of silence, "But I couldn't take advantage of you when you were drunk. You REALLY like Vodka…"

Kai blushed and kissed Havoc on the cheek. "Thanks. That answered my question." She stood up and walked to the door, opening it slightly.

"What!" Havoc said, getting up and quickly putting on clothes. "What does THAT mean!"

Kai turned and winked as she walked out the door. Havoc growled. Damn her and her mysterious ways.

Kai walked into the living room, noticing that Roy was still asleep. "Geez, he's a playa BUM…" Kai walked into the kitchen and made herself a glass of orange juice and champagne.

"More alcohol, Kai?" Roy said quietly, startling her.

"Holy crap, give a girl some warning…" She took a deep breath. Roy took a sip of some brandy he had on the coffee table. He had moved the couch bed in so that he was lying on the couch. Or, to be specific, the futon. "You're really not making me think any more highly of you by doing things like this, making yourself more incapacitated. You're drinking BRANDY while you're ILL, Roy. That's not very smart."

Roy smiled. "Hey, I take brandy well and it numbs the pain. Besides, I need to wake up because the giggling and ruffling of sheets from Havoc's bedroom kept me up last night."

Kai paled. Did Havoc LIE to her?…

Roy laughed. "Ha! I'm kidding. You should've seen your face, though." Kai gave him a look of hatred and sat down on the chair next to the couch.

Havoc walked through the door a moment later, his hair more neat and his eyes not looking as glassy from sleep. Roy looked at him slyly. "You have a nice sleep Ha-voc?"

Havoc narrowed his eyes. It seemed like the filthy bastard was trying to turn another girl against him, and from the tone of Roy's voice he sounded like that of a siren who might say something sweet to a man before bashing his head on a rock.

"I like your clothes, Kai." Roy said to her sweetly, his eyes narrowed in an 'I'm-so-evil' fashion. "They're a wonderful make. What are they? Havoc brand?" Roy brought his head right up next to her ear. Havoc moved forward as if to stop him, then hesitated. Maybe he was just telling her something.

Though Havoc severely doubted that, he gave Roy the benefit of the doubt. Roy bent even closer. His breath tickled her cold neck.

"…I can see your bra."

"Eeep!" Kai squealed, nearly falling over in an attempt to hide her shoulders. Roy laughed maniacally and Havoc shot him a look that stated, to anyone who might have glanced his way, 'You filthy bastard, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!'

Roy laughed and thumped Havoc hard on the back. Havoc coughed slightly. He looked at Roy confusedly. Why was HE so giddy?

"You know, Makku called earlier." Oh, so THAT was why. "While you both were sleeping. She's going to come and check up on me later." The look in his eyes told Havoc that Roy obviously wanted something more than just a check up. Havoc nearly threw up. Roy grew a bit solemn. "But she said she had to check up on a little girl, first…"

Havoc looked even more confused. "What 'little girl' would make you so serious?"

"Elysia, Havoc. Elysia Hughes." Havoc winced.

"What's wrong with Elysia?" Havoc said worriedly.

Roy shrugged. "Dunno, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it. Makku said she does check-up jobs on little kids all the time."

Kai nodded, still blushing from the predator alert. "Yeah, amazingly Makku is a professional in pediatrics. I say amazingly because Makku really hates little kids."

"Yeah… Makku doesn't seem to be the 'little kid' type." Havoc said, remembering the various stories Kai had told him about the incident with the daycare center and community service…"

"Tee hee. We used to be so _BAD_. But still, community service JUST for crashing a car into a street post? I mean, seriously, we were out in the COUNTRY for jebus's sakes…" Havoc and Roy exchanged looks.

Havoc got up and went to the kitchen to get himself some orange juice. "So, are we meeting your parents, Kai?" he called from the kitchen.

Kai paused a moment, snapping back from her memories. She had forgotten to call them last night! Oh well, they'll be happy to hear about that magnificent boyfriend she always talked about.

"Right! I need to call and find out what time's good for them." She got up and walked to where the phone was in the kitchen. How Roy could have gotten the phone when it was all the way over there when he was in that condition, she didn't know.

… But she also didn't know how he could take lots of brandy but not lots of wine before getting drunk. One of the world's mysteries.

She dialed the number just as Havoc walked out of the room. She wanted to be as devious and nefarious as possible so as to make Havoc stressed out. He seemed to be a bit more affectionate when he was like that, and since her question had been answered before she didn't need to worry about anything happening.

"Hello?" her father answered. Kai smiled.

"Hi! It's your favorite daughter, Kai!"

Her father laughed. "You're my only daughter."

As Kai talked to her parents, Havoc talked to Roy.

"So." Havoc said, controlling his anger of the memories from last night. "You think you really love Makku, huh?"

Roy shrugged. "Well, yeah. She's got many good qualities, and she's a really good kisser—" Havoc held up a hand.

"Too much information."

Havoc was silent a moment as he thought about how to word his next sentence. "You really haven't known her that long, Roy."

Roy nodded. "That may be true, but you haven't known Kai long." Roy lowered his voice. "I've seen the look in your eyes. You want to marry her soon, don't you? You want to marry her _bad_."

Havoc blushed. "Well, yeah. I haven't had a good girlfriend in a while, and this one I love, so… I don't want to lose her." Havoc snapped out of his daze. "But that's not the point! I see the way you look at Makku. You think it's love, but it's just lust. Just like all the girls you've had before…."

Oh boy. THIS argument again.

"… Except Riza." Havoc finished. "You know you love Riza, Roy. You need to accept it." Roy was in shock. "She cares about you, too. You guys are great together.

Roy was surprised. "Didn't know you paid so much attention, Havoc."

"I have to look out for my superior. Especially if my superior is some love-inferior dumb-ass."

"You shouldn't be talking, Jean." Roy said smugly. Kai walked into the room, her eyes bright.

She picked up her purse off the table in front of the couch (which Roy had moved also. Geez, that wound's probably open wide) "We can head out right now. They'll be expecting us and my mom's making breakfast."

Havoc sighed. "Oh sweet joy." Havoc stood and went to his room to dress a bit better.

Roy laughed at Havoc, but his mind was on other things. Was what Havoc said true? Was he just lusting after another woman?

It seemed Havoc knew more about his love life than Roy himself.

Kai gathered up her drink that she had made and the granola bar she was eating. She took a bite of it. "How about we stop at my apartment first?" she called to him, her mouth partly full. Charming.

Havoc walked back in wearing a pair of jeans and a bright yellow T-shirt with a casual jacket thrown on over it. He nodded. Anything to stall the parent meeting.

Kai grabbed her jacket off the chair. "So, are we ready?"

"Yeah, let's go. You can take care of yourself, right Roy?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm just incapacitated, and taking medicine that makes me unable to see straight."

Havoc was about to say something, but Kai shoved him out the door with a smile. "Great, we'll be back later, bye!"

Roy waved slightly and laid back. He needed to change his bandages. But first, how about a little nap…

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"Oh, that was so FUN!" Riza said to Roy, laughing. Roy was smiling brightly.

"Yeah, can you believe the ending of the play?" Roy laughed as Riza gasped dramatically.

"It was so surprising! I would've never believed that Yuko was the murderer the whole time!"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Well, you could kind of tell. The way he talked and acted, it was very obvious."

Riza was indignant. "Some people aren't as observant as YOU are, future Fuhrer."

Roy laughed and pulled Riza in for a walking hug. She wrapped her free arm around him and they walked like that for a while, just hugging each other and smiling.

"I really do love you, Roy." Riza said quietly.

Roy was a bit startled, but he smiled even wider. "I love you too, Riza…"

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You like so far? I think it's turning out at least a little better. But the REALLY good parts are yet to come!

Please review! I love reviews! They are the wind beneath my fanfiction wings!


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